01/09/09
   

We commence 2009 in the right frame of mind.

During the Festive Season I was fortunate to receive some nice stories, a couple I would like to share with my readers. For a change I am being very happy and constructive, so I hope you all sit back and enjoy what you read and hear.

..turn up the sound and enjoy!

And  They  Ask---Why I Like Retirement????



Question:  How many  days in a week?
Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday   

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?  
Answer:    Three hours after he falls asleep on the  couch.
 
Question:   How many retirees to change a light bulb?  
 Answer:     Only one, but it might take all  day.  

Question:  What's the biggest gripe of retirees?  
Answer:     There is not enough time to get everything  done.
 
Question:  Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?   
Answer:    The term comes with a 10% percent  discount.   

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?   
Answer:    Tied shoes.  
 

Question:  Why  do retirees count pennies?
Answer:     They are the only ones who have the  time.

Question:  What is the common term for someone who enjoys   work and refuses to retire?
Answer:     NUTS!
 
Question:  Why are retirees so slow to  clean out the basement, attic or garage?  
Answer:       They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to  store stuff there.  

Question:   What do retirees call a long lunch?  
Answer:     Normal  
 
Question:  What is the best way to describe retirement?  
Answer:    The never ending Coffee Break.  

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going  back to school as a retiree?   
Answer:    If you cut classes, no one calls your  parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he  doesn't miss work, but  misses the people he used to work with?   
Answer:    He is too polite to tell the whole  truth.  

Question: What do you do all  week?
Answer:    Monday to Friday; Nothing  
               Saturday & Sunday I rest.

             

Share  this one with all the retirees that you know.   
I'm sure  they can  relate to some of  them!   

AND, If  you have not yet retired,  look  what you  have to  look forward to.


    
        


    

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination,
there is no better time to be happy than...
NOW!

Some of you have seen pictures of a Miligold Macaw parrot, others have not been so fortunate. One administrator whom I speak with on a regular basis has a 6 yr old Miligold Macaw, called Huey. She got him when he was 10 days old and hand raised him. The first word he ever spoke was, "Hello", he quickly followed with "Hi Huey". All day long she would constantly hear "Hi Huey, Hi Huey, Huey, Huey, Huey". This bird is driving me crazy, she said to herself, if I do not teach him some new words, the authorities will have to certify me.

Each day about lunchtime she would give Huey a treat. Placing the treat in his dish and telling him what it was, by pointing to the dish and saying carrots, beans, noodles, or whatever. Huey would just look at her, then go and consume his treat.

During the spring break, one of Huey’s older siblings, Syd, came to stay with my friend, whilst Syd’s family went on vacation. Syd's favorite word was “cracker”. He knew what crackers were and when he said cracker it was because he wanted one. My friend would go get the crackers, and give the birds a piece. This went on for the 10 days she was “birdsitting” Syd.

The day after Syd had returned to his own home my friend was still hearing "Cracker"? Yea, Huey learned a new word so my friend would oblige by giving him a bit of a cracker. The lunchtime treats continued but with a difference now. Huey would look at what was put in his dish and say "Cracker"? My friend replied, “No this is Carrots, or No, this is Noodles”. Huey would look at what was in the dish, look back at my friend and start eating, this same ritual went on for the next couple of months.

Then one day Huey became very frustrated and disgusted with my friend. As she put his usual treat in the dish, Huey looked at her and said, "Cracker"? No, she replied it is carrots" Huey climbed down his play stand to be on the same level with my friend, looking her straight in the eye and said "CRACKER" then climbed back up his play stand and started to eat watching my friend very closely.

Thunder crashed, lightening flashed and the lights came on in her head. “She was dumbfounded”. She then realized “cracker” was Huey’s word for any treat. It took him less than 10 days to learn the word, but took her over 2 months to learn what it meant. Think about that next time you call someone a "Bird Brain".

As I indicated in my last article, “watch this space”, well I am pleased and proud to announce my new program:

http://fairpatton.com/tourism-advertiser?r=58002

This program is totally manual, and I mean totally. All new members will be screened before they will be allowed to upgrade.

Members who join this program and fail the first test of honesty (Sign-up details) will be deleted from the data base of my program.

This program will be selective in who we accept as members, I do not want 100 members a day to join, unless they are interested in working as a team and being a team player.

All upgrades will be manually added. Payouts will be processed within 12 hours of an upgrade expiring, unless there is some reason beyond my control why I cannot honour this promise.

Any reader who joins my Advertiser is also encouraged to join my Forum. This can be done by clicking this link and following the instructions.

http://www.fairpatton.com/new/forum/

You may ask, “Why should anyone pay to be a member of a Forum”? The simple answer is, it is in your interest. Any reader who joins my Advertiser, but does not join the Forum will be paid a flat 27.5% per month for viewing the required web pages on the Advertiser rotator. If you join both Advertiser and Forum you can increase your monthly earnings by 10%, 15%, 20%, 25% and so on. What you earn is entirely up to each individual member.  For the basic monthly Forum membership of $2.50 you should now be able to see the benefits you receive by paying your monthly membership Forum fee.

I leave you as I started the article, sit back and enjoy.

 

Kind Regards,

John McCallum,
Fairpatton.com

  

In early May 2007, I decided I could no longer continue promoting and defending PROGRAMS and ADMINISTRATORS whilst at the same time being critical about many aspects of the Surfing Industry. I was of the opinion the only way to rectify this problem was to close this site and my Forum and allow the unethical and unscrupulous element of the Auto Surfing Industry to continue with their LIARS, DECEIT and DECEPTION, however, I was very uncomfortable taking that direction.

Having given this matter considerable thought I soon realized what I had to do, “I have never been a DEFEATIST and I was not about to start now”.

It was time to put my mind to the grindstone, make enquiries, listen to advice, and structure a business plan which was both VIABLE and SUSTAINABLE.

As Referral Commission is ILLEGAL according to the advice I have received, NONE of the following PROGRAMS will be promoted by me on Fairpatton, namely, Auto Surfs, Manual Surfs, Hybrids, HYIP's, HYLP's, MLM's, Paid to Click, Paid to Read, Paid to Promote, Matrix's, Randomizer's or Business Opportunities. Further information about this decision can be viewed on the Fairpatton Forum.

Due to this decision Fairpatton’s Forum will be a PRIVATE members promotional and chat vehicle for those interested. To provide this service there will be a FEE, ranging from $2.50 to $6 a month depending upon the plan you wish to participate.

The Administrator of Fairpatton’s Forum will be available to answer any of your questions in relation to Membership, Administrators rights and privileges, Advertising and Promoting. You may contact him from the Forum.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
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